In general, the country is getting better and stronger, richer – and that’s without diminishing the importance of individual vanity. Looking back from the 1990s to now, within the families I’ve encountered, people’s lives have undeniably improved significantly. Simultaneously, the number of wealthy individuals has increased. As market-oriented economic development inevitably leads to widening income inequality, issues like class solidification and blocked upward mobility are prevalent globally.
What is often discussed – such as rigid social strata and limited opportunities for advancement – are common problems worldwide. However, it’s important to acknowledge the Communist Party’s contributions to people’s basic welfare and social security, something everyone should take note of. Life will continue to improve; if you don’t want to buy a house, you can rent one. There are still inequalities in educational resources for children, requiring choices between better job opportunities, improved work environments, or more time with family. Don’t impose your own ideas on others, including your children and family members. Sit down and talk it through – life will inevitably get better.
Video Transcript
Click here to view the original video link, if there is any infringement, please contact the author to remove this article; this text is only for the translation of the transcript.
Thirty Years Old
I’m now exactly 50 years old this year, and in the past I never thought about it; I felt that this was an old man. Now I realize it’s truly an old man – this is what I looked like at 30. When I was 30, I didn’t feel very young, good-looking, and when I was 50 years old, looking back, it’s not bad; the biggest life lesson at 30? Looking back. I think it’s subtraction – the key word is subtraction. Somehow, “painfully happy” is also a kind of subtraction, letting you experience and write down many things, then leave them there on a new blank sheet, or running; but for me, at 30, I really feel that whether it’s about myself or reminding others, subtraction is very important.
I’m currently guiding college students from China Central Television (CCTV), and I often remind them to “go all out” to add before they turn 30 – to try things, you don’t know what kind of possibilities you have, you don’t know what opportunities fate will give you. It’s not about knowing; but some people work hard in their twenties, adding everything, but forget to stop when it’s time for subtraction. I think 30 is a very important period in life – after doing a series of additions and running around everywhere, you need to do a significant subtraction; otherwise, it’s too late. Why do you need to subtract? Not everything suits you, not everything is suitable for you; you should do all things, but not necessarily all things.
How far can 8 lines of rope hold you if they’re tangled?
By the time I was 30, I had been promoted to a full professor – in other words, academically speaking, it’s called a professor; as for journalism, it’s a senior journalist. I was promoted at 29, and this kind of thing is rare now, but I started to feel a huge confusion when I did the Sydney Olympics in 2000. I suddenly felt that everything wasn’t right. I had to ask myself, “What exactly do you want to do? Which things should be discarded?” That year, I made an important subtraction – I stopped my show for a year, without appearing anywhere, and at that time people told me, “As a host, if you don’t appear on screen for a month, it’s okay; if you don’t appear for six months, no one will remember you.” I said, “My face is really cheap.”
That year, I started to develop new programs. This was after finishing “Painfully Happy” in 2001 – I stopped for a whole year. Everything I see today is a reflection on that time of subtraction. At that time, I could do many things – I could do sports, I could do E (likely referring to the internet), I could do many other fun things, and be a producer; but I said no, I realized I could only do news, and I should do news most of all. Then I was the producer for three programs, and I quit them overnight, and that’s what I am today. I became simpler. Just recently, I was chatting with a colleague, and I said, “When I was in my 30s, I made a very important decision – not just because there were many things I could do, but I felt like I was just doing news; this deep well is something that might promote you to deputy director; I refused it, and returned to a normal level.”
Now, I’m a central television station’s senior editor – not someone who graduated from university (undergraduate). You know our system, but I refused. I wanted to see how far a bachelor’s degree could go, and why a bachelor’s degree shouldn’t constantly learn and take students as assistants? Yes, now I have 11 students under my guidance, this is the result of subtraction. Of course, it’s a reflection looking back. It’s also easy to feel in your youth that everything should be obtained – if anything hasn’t been obtained, if something has a defect, you’ll feel very uncomfortable.
Please don’t learn to subtract yourselves; when you’re about to turn 30, at 28, when I saw the Olympics in 1996, I came up with a sentence: “Defect is an important part of “The moon is best when it’s not yet full. But for ordinary people, it will always be seen as a flaw, not perfect enough, not reaching the extreme. The worst way to ruin someone is to make them pursue perfection and reach the ultimate goal.”
“This world isn’t like that; the most wonderful time is when the flower hasn’t fully bloomed. When it’s full, it’s close to falling; when the moon starts to become full, it’s close to becoming a waning crescent. Therefore, I think this was a very important boost and inspiration for me at 30. 40 wasn’t as beautiful then. But I felt relaxed. More free. Why not stop dressing in suits and ties, why not always be black and white? Let’s start asking about happiness?”
Forty Years Old
The Chinese say that 40 is not confused, while 30 is about subtraction. 40 is about confusion, not wisdom. I think in today’s era, 40 is likely the most confused age. My midlife crisis started surprisingly early, around thirty-six or seventy, when I began to question whether everything I had done was valuable and meaningful. I wondered what happiness I truly desired. This book was born out of this confusion – you’ll find that at 30, many of your happiness goals are tied to material possessions. “Thirty and established” refers to having your education firmly in place. You need a car and a house; otherwise, your mother-in-law won’t consider marrying off your wife to you—it’s very materialistic. However, “40 is not confused” is difficult to achieve. I think ancient people had longer life expectancies than we do now, so they condensed 40 years into one, hence the lack of confusion. I’m currently 40 and feeling confused, and material things haven’t brought me happiness as I thought they would. Similarly, when many people ask me at 40, “Are you happy?” My book title is “Happiness Waves,” which represents a question—it reflects my inner turmoil. The emergence of the midlife crisis: at 40, you need to answer yourself many questions, talk to yourself frequently, and read extensively to find answers. I’m fortunate that when I was thirty-six or seventy, I entered the world of the Tao Te Ching. In White Talk, I already discussed this; at 40, if your surroundings don’t change, especially the soft environment – if you can stroll out of the house with a good mood and encounter countless red lights—buying something is often fake, getting vaccinated is questionable.
I said that recently China has been battling two typhoons, one visible and one tangible. The invisible typhoon is vaccines, which attacks our inner security dam. The other typhoon, Chinese typhoons rarely land in Shanghai – this is a tangent; next, you need to think about whether you can focus on your own well-being. If your surroundings don’t change, will you be happy? I have an eight-character idiom that I find quite heavy: we are currently experiencing a deficit of morality and a loss of humanity—this is the biggest deficit and loss at present. Recently, I witnessed two cars colliding; it wasn’t too serious. The responsible party was because he had stopped on the side of the road, and the other driver was preparing to stop. But the car in front sped away without stopping him. Is that a responsible father? Is that a responsible son? Never mind how he would be a responsible citizen—he might even be your colleague. This is the deficit of morality and loss of humanity, which inevitably affects you. No matter how great a person you are, unless you haven’t left your home, it doesn’t prevent your children from getting vaccinated, or sending takeout that may have problems!
Therefore, how can Chinese people learn to transform from an ordinary citizen into a citizen—this might be at my 40, both asking myself and posing an important question to society.
If 30 is about subtraction, 40 is about confusion, I think 50 should be about curiosity. 50 is awkward; you’re neither in the village nor out of it – you can attack if you go forward, retreat if you go back, and blend in if you stay put. If you lie down for ten years on something you’ve achieved, perhaps until retirement, that seems possible.
Recently I read a book that said that truly successful entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley are often older—50s or 60s. This is different from our concept. How can China stop treating entrepreneurship as a young career—just like how China doesn’t treat youth volunteers as youth volunteers. Last week, I did a program to recruit retired primary and secondary school teachers; they receive a subsidy of two or three hundred thousand yuan per year and go teach in rural areas – and must be excellent. This is truly opening the door for retirees to find new employment—of course, it’s not just charity, but getting back to 50 is still a distance away. How do you move forward?
Fifty Years Old
More importantly, for a 50-year-old person, there are two challenges: the first is yourself – are you still curious about many things? What is your outlook on life? I think my biggest gain at 50, or the way I’m living now, is to treat every today well. Twenty years old tends to live in tomorrow, and at 50, it’s easy to dwell on yesterday. But I try to restrain myself, neither living in tomorrow nor in yesterday; I treat every today well. A 50-year-old shouldn’t always say “we’ll talk about it tomorrow” or “it was better back then!”
Looking back now, I realize I was young once too, I had so many hair, so I should cherish every day of today, because when you look back two years later, it’s best to see yourself as you are.
Just like Shen Shing said, “When my legs couldn’t walk anymore, I sat in a wheelchair and constantly reminisced about the time when I could run and play basketball. Every day was filled with pain in my memories.” Years later, I developed bedsores on my wheelchair and felt miserable. At that time, I always remembered those peaceful moments of sitting quietly on the wheelchair. After even more years, I got kidney failure and had to go dialysis. At that time, I would always remember the days when I only had bedsores on the wheelchair. If I hadn’t reached the point of treating every today well at 50, those next 50 years would have been wasted.
Fifty Years Old
I actually feel that it’s not until you reach 50 to truly understand this principle; you should grasp it in your 30s or 40s, as all things are easily missed if you wait. Whether it’s a meal during a trip – if you don’t eat it, you can still have it thirty years later, and even then, it might not be the same taste. Therefore, I believe treating every day with kindness is my first feeling at 50.
The second point is curiosity. I’ve realized that I can stop being curious about many things at any time, because I’ve seen so much and experienced so much, but I encourage myself to remain curious. So when I do a lot of things now, I approach them with a sense of curiosity – can you hold your phone up for a shot? Yes, you can. You can do live reporting, attend seemingly large and solemn conferences, and even make the connection easier. It’s more fun and makes a bigger impression. You can then use new media to disseminate it. I believe curiosity is the most important driving force for human progress. Why shouldn’t it be the most important driving force for individual progress? A nation will wither if it loses its curiosity. On a broader level, 50 is an important test. What kind of vested interests do you become at forty or fifty years old in China? I’m very worried that many people around me had dreams when they were young and went to achieve them, but once they achieved their dreams and became vested interests, they turned into those who blocked others from achieving their dreams, right? They would suddenly treat young people and things in the way they used to dislike.
Therefore, several years ago, I started recruiting one graduate student each year as a volunteer, and they’ve stayed for two years; now five groups have graduated, with 55 pure graduate students. I believe it’s a happy thing to become a vested interest – you have certain insights, you can also guide them. After every class, I invite them to dinner, which doesn’t cost much. But this is what a good vested interest should do: a vested interest can be two aspects—one is to pave the way again. I once said that I don’t want to say thank you too often to those who helped me, because I want to repay them tenfold with new young people. This is how I express my gratitude.
If you’re constantly saying “thank you” and then become a blocker… The next thing is to pave the way for others. I hope that in China, whether it’s material, economic, ideological, or cultural, all vested interests – when you become one, what should you do? Yesterday, someone was pushing a cart; today they’re blocking the train. This has happened throughout Chinese history. It won’t be like this; sometimes it will even be worse, so I call on all vested interests to return to how they felt when they were young – to do things as they did then. Perhaps I wasn’t good enough, but I thought about it, did it, and said it.