If I had followed my family’s plans and diligently studied electrical engineering without venturing into coding, I probably would have been a typical obedient son

Shaking off the dust of memories, it all started with a conversation with my roommate near Chinese New Year, and I took the opportunity to reflect on these past years

Chapter One

The Gaokao results weren’t particularly good or bad. I graduated from a 211 university, and according to my dad’s original plan, I should have studied power grids diligently and returned to work at the local power supply bureau in our hometown. As mentioned earlier, I forgot to mention one key aspect of how I ended up on the IT path: my views on money and self-discipline.

Still in a rural school in the first year of junior high, my family arranged for me to transfer to a city school by the second year. It felt like Liu姥姥 visiting the Grand View Garden—I had trouble adjusting to the bustle of the city. I hadn’t gone to the cinema many times as a child, and certainly not with my parents; relatives did take me occasionally. Luckily, I made friends with several like-minded guys. Though we don’t keep in touch much now, that time of youth looks back fondly. After weekend tutoring, we would collect plastic bottles from the classroom, expertly crushing them with our feet before packing them into backpacks to bring home for my mom to save. Once we had enough, we’d find someone who collected recyclables to take care of them. We played chess, badminton, and Dou Di Zhu (a card game), and the losers would do push-ups as punishment. I was a little grateful then that my dad had been getting me to do various exercises since I was young. From this point on, my view of money became slightly skewed, and I felt a bit insecure. But these small misfortunes were fleeting. My family wasn’t wealthy; we didn’t have much pocket money, and sometimes I couldn’t play with the other students, especially on weekends. My parents’ efforts were visible to the naked eye as we moved from the village to the city. The seeds had been planted, waiting to sprout.

As someone not particularly bright, I was generally very happy during my time studying. Just like many people don’t realize until after they graduate, studying isn’t that difficult; the conversion between input and output is relatively easy.

Layering memories of the imperial era from childhood, and then encountering a laptop during university was like opening Pandora’s Box. I came into contact with games and formed connections with game merchants. Initially, I was a low-level salesperson, purchasing goods upstream and slowly selling them through my own network to make a little money. Gradually, I understood the entire chain’s operational logic. The goods we sold were nothing more than those batch-incubated by upstream programs, their costs approaching zero. At this point, things started going slightly off track. Within my major, there were specialized subfields – on one side was power grids, and on the other, automation (a very diverse field including chip programming and factory electrical automation). I realized that programs could make a lot of money, not just a little, and upstream channels indeed earned a great deal. Coupled with my existing programming background, I started dabbling here and there, making some small sums of money. When choosing a specialization, it naturally led me to automation. I skipped many of the required courses in my junior year, my mind constantly focused on writing code to make money.

The article last year mentioned that, driven by a romanticized view of hackers and with the kindness of IT experience outside of formal education, I dabbled in assembly, penetration testing, game hacks, DLL hijacking, and account theft, becoming familiar with various black and gray industries. My parents taught me how to be a good person, and the law still advised me; I didn’t go completely astray.

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I had one relationship during college, but looking back now, it was more about longing for the kind of love seen in TV dramas. At that time, I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to truly love someone, let alone build a family and establish myself.

Chapter Two

I’ve also been fortunate amidst the tide of time. After a period of upheaval during my university years, I naturally couldn’t pursue graduate studies and started working right after graduation. Riding the wave of the IT industry, things have gone smoothly. It’s already been eight years since I started working, and as the hot money in the industry disappears, it’s gradually coming to a close. Sometimes I wonder if my initial choices were wrong; perhaps entering the power grid as my father suggested would have been a better option. I might have had those thoughts during the first five years of my career, but they slowly faded away. Joining Hang Seng through campus recruitment, I didn’t change companies for five years. There are definitely shortcomings in terms of technical understanding, industry knowledge, and self-awareness. Following arrangements from the Hangzhou headquarters, I went to the Shenzhen branch, where I experienced a workplace struggle (only later did I understand the underlying issues – both sides lost, and the ultimate winner was the board). Driven by my passion for technology, I returned to Hangzhou, carrying a bit of youthful naivete, and then left Hangzhou, moving to Shanghai.

Originally planned to settle down, register household registration, and buy a house in Hangzhou. With interest rates at their peak and housing prices at their highest, entering the market would mean being stuck with a mortgage right away. My family savings are limited, so I can’t afford this kind of financial strain. The thought of getting married while carrying that mortgage burden, combined with the downturn in the industry, makes me emotionally unstable.

Chapter Three

After so many years, having seen so much, I’ve been foolish and reckless myself. Currently, things are going well. Going through some experiences and encountering certain people has gradually matured me. If I had stayed at home all this time, I wonder in what form the flaws in my personality would have erupted.